A discovery in a rainy day

Yesterday was a day of pouring rain. It reminds me of my days in Belgium, where rain is a norm and I like to cry with the rain--to be synchronous with the sky😂, which in fact also happened to be a season of weeping in my life. I learnt to appreciate rain, because it shows a melancholy side of the creator.

I went out to enjoy some rain, and accidentally, met my favourite girl in the train!!! In the last day of school last week, we sadly waved goodbye to each other. As I watched her ran away with her school bag, I wondered if we would ever meet again after I go back to my country, so I asked God to bless her life.  Now I was so happy to meet her in the train! She hugged me, and said she's going for a summer camp with her brother, then we sadly said goodbye again, don't know when will be the next time to meet.

When I got off the train, walking in the rain and saw some old church buildings by the road, it was like in London... I walked into a French library, where light was very cozy, and so quiet that the raining sound outside was like music. It was a perfect day to be with books, and more romantic with French ones. I stayed there for the whole day, reading and thinking about tragedy and fairytale because of a conversation with a tragedy loving friend. These two sounds like antonyms. Because, tragedy happened in reality, it strikes into the deepest part of a human heart; whereas fairytale happened in fairyland, it brings the most comfortable remedy for healing, so comfortable that sometimes it looks unreal. They are like two parallel lines in two spaces that would never cross path.

In the end, I have thought it through, and came to a satisfied conclusion. As someone who lived in tragedy for 20 some years, my natural reaction to tragedy was to cover it up or escape it, because it was so painful and unbearable. But where can I hide? It was like the wave of the sea ran through my whole body each day. The only painkiller I found was fairytales, which created a little tent that covered me in a little cozy space of a beautiful fairyland. I had to go back to that tent again and again and again to enjoy a moment of peace and joy. Until one day I became so big that the tent does not fit me anymore. I can not deceive myself either. Is there a way to live happily with those sea waves? Can my fragile heart handle such great power of the dark wave?

I found the answer/help in a person who perfectly unified the tragedy and fairytale in his life. He really came to disturb the world and its normal order! The first half of the book about him was a tragedy, luckily it's not the end of the story yet; as I entered into the other half of the book, found it was a fairytale. When I looked at him, tragedy and fairytales are like long-lost twins that finds each other, they are supposed to be together; and they look better to be together. If a fairytale happens without a tragedy in it, it's shallow and not real; if a tragedy happens without a fairytale in it, it is not finished and incomplete. If Judas was not so realistic, and believed in the fairytale, he would have had a complete ending like Peter.  Maybe the most tragic of all tragedy is a tragedy without his other half--a fairytale. It is unbearable and breathless. After 20 years of tasting the wave of tragedy, I finally built a permanent tent of fairytale above the wave that I can not only taste it, but also live happily above it! It's all because this fairytale is real and perfectly stands on top of tragedy. This tent on the sea is my permanent mobile resting place.  A story without anyone of them is incomplete, and meaningless, end of story! 👫